I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
