There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
