I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
