The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
