No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
