Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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