Define "chronic" masturbator.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
