I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Found the puke drawer
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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