she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
