So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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