writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
