she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
