jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
