So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
