there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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