I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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