if i can run in heels then i can drive
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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