If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
