Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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