May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
