Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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