I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
