Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
