i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You made out with two different species that night
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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