She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
