office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
