I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
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this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
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Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
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