they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Randomize
