Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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