butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I fill condoms, not promises.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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