I must be too annoying 4 u.
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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