Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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