Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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