Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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