I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I need moral support for this bender
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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