We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
third nipple confirmed
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
