My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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