do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
