i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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