I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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