i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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