Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
