think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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