do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
