I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
