wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
where am i from again
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
