I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
