After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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