when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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