At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
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