even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I see more hoeing in ur future
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
