why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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