so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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