Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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