I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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