unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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