How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
