Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
