it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
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Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
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Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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