wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
