Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
She even gives head with a lisp.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
