Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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