Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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