i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
