just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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