I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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