Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
