I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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