I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
It was confusing and full of hummus
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Drunk is a universal language darling
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