Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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