Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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