We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
