you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
