I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
