WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i will never coherently bang her
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
