Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
