So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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