She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
